Paying for It (2024) by Sook-Yin Lee: An ex-girlfriend adapts her former partner's memoir about their breakup and his sex work journey

Summary of the Movie: Director films her own breakup from perspective that wasn't hers in the book

The film operates in the space where memoir meets female gaze correction, treating Chester Brown's controversial 2011 graphic novel as blueprint requiring expanded canvas. It's an 85-minute adaptation where Sook-Yin Lee directs the story of her own relationship ending—but unlike Brown's book which erased her perspective, the film centers both partners equally as they navigate open relationship after romantic connection fades. Chester (Dan Beirne), introverted cartoonist, begins frequenting Toronto sex workers while Sonny (Emily Lê, fictionalized Lee) dates terrible boyfriends, both living together in Kensington Market while pursuing intimacy outside possessive monogamy.

Where to watch: https://www.justwatch.com/ca/movie/paying-for-it-2025 (Canada)

Link IMDB: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt27170114/

Link Review: https://www.bfi.org.uk/sight-and-sound/reviews/paying-it-sook-yin-lees-humane-toronto-tale-reflects-love-sex-work

• Genre: The film blends relationship drama with sex work advocacy, using turn-of-millennium Toronto setting and graphic novel aesthetic to explore non-traditional intimacy—tension builds through Chester and Sonny's parallel journeys toward different definitions of connection while maintaining domestic proximity

• Movie plot: Late 90s Toronto: Sonny tells Chester she's falling for someone else, they negotiate open relationship rather than break up, she brings violent/terrible boyfriends home while he overcomes three years celibacy to visit sex workers, discovering transactional relationships feel more honest than romantic love's possessive expectations

• Movie themes: Possessive monogamy as modern problem, sex work as legitimate intimacy choice, how breaking up doesn't require breaking apart, female perspective on stories told only from male gaze, friendship surviving romantic endings, decriminalization advocacy through humanization

• Movie trend: Part of emerging ex-partner revisionist adaptations where people depicted in others' memoirs reclaim narrative through their own creative work—films correcting one-sided source material by adding erased perspectives

• Social trend: Reflects ongoing conversations about sex work decriminalization, non-monogamy normalization, how creative nonfiction requires multiple viewpoints to achieve truth, the specific challenge of adapting partners' memoirs about shared experiences

• Movie director: Sook-Yin Lee (Year of the Carnivore, Octavio is Dead!, plus acting in Shortbus, Hedwig and the Angry Inch) adapts her ex-partner's book about their relationship, expanding canvas to include her perspective Brown protected through privacy, bringing female gaze to material originally told without it

• Top casting: Dan Beirne as gentle introverted Chester, Emily Lê as Sonny (renamed from Sook-Yin for creative distance), Andrea Werhun plus sex worker roles cast with sex-positive musicians/artists/activists from Toronto independent scene to ensure authentic non-stigmatized portrayals

• Awards and recognition: TIFF 2024 Platform Prize program premiere (sole Canadian feature selected), Canada's Top Ten 2024, 82 Metascore, 6.2 IMDb rating, 4 wins and 8 nominations, critical praise for adding female perspectives and sex worker humanity Brown's book lacked

• Release and availability: TIFF premiere September 2024, May 17, 2025 US release, Canadian production by Wildling Pictures/Hawkeye Pictures, theatrical distribution ongoing

• Why to watch movie: For audiences wanting sex work narratives from inside rather than outside perspective, late-90s Toronto cultural snapshot (MuchMusic, Kensington Market, alternative comics scene), proof that exes can collaborate creatively on stories about their own breakups

• Key Success Factors: Paying for It succeeds by correcting source material's limitations—Lee expands Brown's one-sided memoir to include her perspective and crucially gives sex workers voices explaining their work choices rather than treating them as anonymous service providers

Insights: Ex-partner adaptations create ultimate creative distance—Lee films her own breakup but makes it better story by including what Brown excluded

Industry Insight: Ex-partner adaptations require unusual emotional maturity but produce uniquely authentic narratives—when subjects of memoirs become directors of adaptations, they correct one-sided perspectives while maintaining intimacy with source material. Consumer Insight: Audiences value sex work narratives that humanize workers rather than stigmatize or romanticize—films allowing workers to speak for themselves create destigmatization through representation beyond client perspective. Brand Insight: Female gaze corrections of male memoir material resonate because they reveal what gets erased in original telling—adding perspectives authors protected through privacy creates more complete truth than one-sided accounts.

The film operates as loving correction of problematic source material. Brown's graphic novel faced criticism for faceless anonymous sex workers whose humanity remained invisible—he protected their privacy but inadvertently dehumanized them. Lee's adaptation gives workers agency and voices, casting sex-positive artists from Toronto's independent scene rather than actors performing stigma. The film also restores what Brown excluded: Lee's perspective during their open relationship years living together. Critics note this transforms one-sided memoir into dual portrait, making Sonny's parallel journey—dating terrible boyfriends including violent ones—as important as Chester's sex work discovery. The meta-narrative adds richness: watching Lee direct actors playing herself and Brown in scenes from their actual relationship creates ultimate creative distance while maintaining impossible intimacy.

Why It Is Trending: Ex directs ex's memoir about their breakup—creative collaboration between former partners becomes cultural curiosity

The film arrives during conversations about sex work decriminalization and non-monogamy normalization, but trends primarily through its remarkable production story. Paying for It capitalizes on fascination with Lee and Brown's continued closeness decades after relationship ended—they still call each other daily, collaborated creatively on adapting his book about their breakup.

• Concept → consequence: Ex-partner directing adaptation of ex's memoir about their relationship creates meta-narrative as compelling as actual plot—audiences engage with production backstory as much as fictional content

• Culture → visibility: Released as sex work decriminalization gains momentum and non-monogamy becomes culturally visible topic, providing humanizing depiction rather than sensationalized treatment

• Distribution → discovery: TIFF Platform Prize selection (competitive program for bold directorial visions) positions as quality cinema rather than niche sex work advocacy, Canada's Top Ten placement ensures domestic critical attention

• Timing → perception: Drops during moment when graphic novel adaptations are trendy but most are superhero franchises—intimate indie memoir adaptation feels refreshing alternative to blockbuster IP exploitation

• Performance → relatability: Chester and Sonny's continued cohabitation while pursuing other partners resonates with audiences navigating non-traditional relationship structures, making specific 90s Toronto story feel universally applicable

Insights: Production story becomes marketing—Lee filming her own breakup from ex's memoir creates cultural curiosity beyond sex work subject matter

Industry Insight: Ex-partner creative collaborations require unusual emotional maturity but generate publicity conventional adaptations can't—Lee and Brown's continued closeness decades post-breakup validates film's thesis about relationships surviving romantic endings. Consumer Insight: Audiences engage differently knowing director lived events depicted—Lee's insider perspective creates authenticity that outside adapter couldn't achieve, making memoir adaptation feel documentary-adjacent despite fictional elements. Brand Insight: Female gaze corrections resonate because they reveal male memoir erasures—Lee adding sex worker voices and her own perspective creates more complete truth than Brown's protective privacy allowed.

The film trends through unusual production circumstances rather than controversial subject matter. Entertainment coverage focuses on Lee and Brown's relationship—how they met through fan mail, stayed together through open relationship years, remain closest confidants decades later. The adaptation story becomes human interest angle: Lee read Brown's 2011 book depicting their breakup and decided to film it herself, expanding canvas to include perspectives he excluded. Critics praise this as essential improvement—Brown's faceless sex workers become full humans with agency, Sonny gets equal narrative weight to Chester. The sex-positive casting (musicians, performance artists, activists playing workers rather than actors performing stigma) adds authenticity. It trends as feel-good story about exes collaborating creatively despite depicting painful relationship dissolution.

What Movie Trend Is Followed: Ex-partner revisionist adaptations correcting one-sided memoir source material

The film operates within emerging trend of people depicted in others' memoirs reclaiming narratives through their own creative work. This trend includes adaptations where subjects of original telling become directors/writers of retelling, adding erased perspectives and correcting misrepresentations—stories where creative control shifts from original author to people they wrote about.

• Format lifecycle: Graphic novel adaptations evolved from superhero franchises through indie memoir material into ex-partner collaborative projects—Paying for It sits where subjects adapt their own depictions, creating meta-narratives about relationship to source material

• Aesthetic logic: Film maintains graphic novel's visual simplicity through modest production design, Kensington Market locations providing authentic late-90s Toronto setting, casting non-actors from independent art scene creating documentary feel within fictional frame

• Psychological effect: Audiences experience cognitive engagement knowing director lived depicted events—Lee's insider status creates trust that outside adapter couldn't earn, making sex work depiction feel authentic rather than exploitative

• Genre inheritance: Borrows from relationship dissolution cinema (Blue Valentine), sex work narratives (Belle de Jour), Canadian indie tradition (Sarah Polley's Stories We Tell examining family through creative nonfiction), and graphic novel adaptations to create hybrid memoir-correction

Insights: Ex-partner adaptations correct source material limitations—subjects become directors to add perspectives original authors excluded

Industry Insight: Memoir adaptations gain authenticity when subjects direct—Lee's lived experience creates insider perspective outside adapters can't replicate, validating sex work and relationship depictions through her authority as person who actually lived this. Consumer Insight: Audiences value multiple perspectives in relationship stories—one-sided memoirs feel incomplete when adapted, requiring subjects' viewpoints to achieve full truth about shared experiences. Brand Insight: Female gaze corrections reveal what male memoirs erase—Lee giving sex workers voices and restoring her own perspective creates more ethical narrative than Brown's protective privacy produced.

Paying for It demonstrates how adaptations can improve source material by adding what original excluded. Brown's graphic novel faced criticism for faceless sex workers and missing female perspective—he protected privacy but created ethical problems through erasure. Lee's adaptation solves both: casting actual sex-positive community members gives workers agency and humanity, while expanding to Sonny's parallel journey creates dual portrait rather than one-sided account. The trend reveals tension in creative nonfiction: protecting privacy can erase personhood, but revealing details risks exploitation. Lee navigates this by renaming her character Sonny for creative distance while maintaining emotional honesty. The film succeeds by treating Brown's memoir as incomplete draft requiring female gaze and worker perspectives to achieve full truth.

Trends 2026: Subjects adapt their own depictions—people written about become creators correcting original narratives

Audiences increasingly expect multiple perspectives in relationship stories based on real events. The shift reflects recognition that one-sided memoirs require correction from people depicted, that subjects possess authority creators don't when adapting shared experiences.

Implications: Memoir subjects become directors—creative control shifts from original authors to people they wrote about

• Paying for It signals movement toward subjects reclaiming narratives through their own creative work rather than accepting how they're depicted in others' memoirs

• Viewers accept that relationship stories require multiple perspectives to achieve truth—one partner's account feels incomplete without other partner's viewpoint

• This reshapes memoir adaptation from faithfulness to source into opportunity for subjects to correct erasures and add missing perspectives

• The trend suggests creative nonfiction requiring collaboration with depicted subjects or accepting that subjects will eventually create their own versions

Where it is visible (industry): Ex-partner creative collaborations normalize as relationship stories require dual perspectives

• Memoir adaptations increasingly involve subjects as consultants or co-creators, recognizing their authority over shared experiences

• Sex work narratives shift from client perspective to worker voices, requiring casting actual sex-positive community rather than actors performing stigma

• Graphic novel adaptations expand beyond superhero IP into intimate indie material where author cooperation enables authentic translation

• Female gaze corrections of male memoir material reveal systematic erasures in original telling, creating market for revisionist adaptations

Related movie trends:

• Ex-partner collaborative adaptations - Former romantic partners working together to adapt memoirs about their relationships, requiring unusual emotional maturity but producing uniquely authentic narratives

• Subject-directed memoir corrections - People depicted in others' creative nonfiction becoming directors/writers of adaptations to add erased perspectives

• Sex-positive casting practices - Hiring actual sex workers or sex-positive community members rather than actors performing stigma, creating authentic rather than exploitative depictions

• Female gaze memoir revisions - Women directing adaptations of male-authored memoirs that excluded female perspectives, correcting one-sided original telling

Related consumer trends:

• Multiple perspective demands - Audiences rejecting one-sided relationship stories, requiring both partners' viewpoints to accept narrative as complete truth

• Authenticity verification through insider status - Viewers valuing adaptations where subjects lived depicted events over outside creators interpreting others' experiences

• Sex work humanization preference - Consumers wanting narratives giving workers agency and voices rather than treating them as anonymous service providers or tragic victims

• Production backstory fascination - Audiences engaging with meta-narratives about how films get made as much as fictional content itself

The Trends: Subjects directing their own depictions creates authenticity outside adapters can't replicate—insider authority validates controversial material

Viewers increasingly recognize that memoir adaptations require subjects' participation to achieve full truth. The trend resonates because audiences understand one partner's account of shared relationship remains incomplete without other partner's perspective. Paying for It demonstrates this by expanding Brown's one-sided memoir into dual portrait where Sonny's journey matters as much as Chester's—Lee's insider status as person who actually lived these events creates authority no outside adapter could claim.

Trend Type	Trend Name	Description	Implications
Core Movie Trend	Subject-directed memoir adaptations	People depicted in others' creative nonfiction becoming directors/writers of adaptations to correct erasures and add missing perspectives	Cinema must involve subjects in adaptation process or accept they'll eventually create their own versions—insider authority validates controversial material outside creators can't claim
Core Consumer Trend	Multiple perspective requirements	Audiences rejecting one-sided relationship stories, demanding both partners' viewpoints to accept narratives as complete truth about shared experiences	Consumption patterns reward films providing dual perspectives—viewers recognize single accounts of relationships remain incomplete regardless of how well-told
Core Social Trend	Ex-partner creative collaboration normalization	Recognition that former romantic partners can work together professionally on stories about their relationships when emotional maturity allows	Society accepts that breakups don't require breaking apart—Lee and Brown's continued closeness validates film's thesis about relationships surviving romantic endings
Core Strategy	Female gaze memoir correction	Women directing adaptations of male-authored memoirs that excluded female perspectives, revealing systematic erasures in original telling	Brands recognize that adding missing viewpoints creates more complete truth—Lee restoring her perspective and sex workers' voices improves Brown's protective but problematic privacy choices
Core Motivation	Insider authenticity validation	Audiences trusting adaptations where directors lived depicted events over outside creators interpreting others' experiences	Media benefits from subject involvement—Lee's authority as person who actually navigated open relationship and knows sex work community creates credibility outside adapter couldn't earn

Insights: Ex-partner directing ex's memoir creates ultimate insider authority—Lee's lived experience validates sex work and relationship depictions through impossible-to-fake authenticity

Industry Insight: Memoir adaptations gain credibility when subjects direct—Lee's authority as person who lived these events creates trust outside adapter couldn't establish, particularly for controversial topics like sex work requiring authentic rather than exploitative depiction. Consumer Insight: Audiences recognize one-sided relationship memoirs as incomplete—viewers require both partners' perspectives to accept narratives about shared experiences as full truth rather than partial accounts. Brand Insight: Female gaze corrections reveal what male memoirs systematically erase—Lee restoring her perspective and giving sex workers voices creates more ethical narrative than Brown's protective privacy produced in original telling.

The 2026 landscape reveals memoir adaptation evolving into collaborative process requiring subjects' participation. Paying for It demonstrates this through Lee directing her ex-partner's book about their breakup—her insider status creates authenticity no outside adapter could replicate. Critics note essential improvements: Brown's faceless sex workers become full humans with agency through casting sex-positive community, Sonny gets equal narrative weight creating dual portrait. The production story validates film's thesis: Lee and Brown still call each other daily decades post-breakup, proving relationships can survive romantic endings. This teaches that creative nonfiction about shared experiences requires multiple perspectives, that subjects possess authority creators don't, and that controversial material like sex work needs insider voices to avoid exploitation.

Final Verdict: Ex-partner collaboration creates impossible intimacy—Lee directs her own breakup better by including what Brown excluded

Paying for It functions as loving correction of problematic source material through ultimate insider adaptation. The film's cultural role is demonstrating how subjects can reclaim narratives by becoming creators, that memoir requires multiple perspectives to achieve full truth about shared experiences.

• Meaning: The film argues relationships can survive romantic endings, sex work is legitimate intimacy choice, possessive monogamy creates problems transactional clarity solves, breaking up doesn't require breaking apart—themes authenticated through Lee directing her own lived experience

• Relevance: Arrives during sex work decriminalization conversations and non-monogamy normalization, providing humanizing depiction through insider perspective rather than outside judgment

• Endurance: The film's staying power depends on whether ex-partner creative collaborations become template for memoir adaptations or remain unusual circumstance requiring specific emotional maturity

• Legacy: Establishes that subjects directing their own depictions creates authenticity outside adapters can't replicate—Lee's insider authority validates controversial material through impossible-to-fake lived experience

Insights: The film sells sex work humanization and non-monogamy normalization through ex-partner collaboration that validates both as workable life choices

Industry Insight: Memoir adaptations benefit from subject involvement—Lee's authority as person who lived open relationship and knows sex work community creates credibility outside adapter couldn't establish, particularly for controversial topics requiring authentic rather than exploitative treatment. Consumer Insight: Audiences trust adaptations where directors lived depicted events—Lee's insider status creates engagement that outside creator interpreting Brown's memoir wouldn't achieve, making sex work depiction feel honest rather than sensationalized. Brand Insight: Female gaze corrections improve male memoir source material—Lee adding sex worker voices and her own perspective creates more complete ethical narrative than Brown's protective but problematic privacy choices produced.

Paying for It's cultural role is demonstrating how subjects can improve their own depictions through creative control. Lee takes Brown's one-sided memoir and makes it better story by adding what he excluded: her perspective during open relationship years, sex workers' humanity and agency, dual portrait rather than single viewpoint. The production backstory authenticates content—Lee and Brown's continued closeness decades post-breakup proves relationships survive romantic endings, validating film's thesis about possessive monogamy versus chosen intimacy. Critics universally note improvements: faceless sex workers become full humans, Sonny's parallel journey matters as much as Chester's. The film teaches that memoir adaptation requires subjects' participation, that one-sided accounts need correction from people depicted, and that controversial material like sex work benefits from insider voices preventing exploitation through authentic representation.